“I Love, “Love” I just like to leave love where it’s at. Pure just like that no added preservatives, no trying to run it through a test, just leave it alone and let it manifest. Cause it’s bad enough the truth already suffers from too much analysis & ain’t nothing more truer than love. Ain’t nothing more painful either, I ain’t joking I’d rather catch an ass whooping than get my heart broken.” via Lemon Andersen video here
I thought that excerpt from a Lemon Andersen poem would be prefect way to start this post about LOVE.
Like the excerpt says, “I love LOVE“ but seriously sometimes is okay to be in “LIKE“.
“LIKE: the stage before love, where you get to know the person you’re involved with & they get to know you. No real emotional attachment but there is some chemistry. It’s the safe zone that saves you from heartbreak.” via ME
Imagine if you will, being in kindergarten and having a crush. (Kindergarten Crush) You don’t really know what you feeling but you know you have some type of feeling for another person. Eventually you walk up in your childish way and you tell them you like them. If you’re a guy, you probably hit them or just gave them your snack. If you’re a girl, you probably just came out and said it. (Girls are always better at expressing their feelings than guys) For those two or so days, it’s heaven and then you find you have a crush on someone else. You move on & do the same “I like you” move next girl or boy. No one is really hurt, because you guys were just in “LIKE“.
Like most humans my dream is to one day find love…wait a minute I need to set the mood because this is about to get extra sappy. So to get the full effect play “Hello” – Lionel Richie
Like most humans my dream is to one-day find love. I want to find love like the old folks talk about. I want to find what some of my friends have already found.
I want to find someone who will laugh at my corny jokes (they get corny at times) and then tell me how corny they actually are, but in private.
I want to find someone who will eat junk food with me on the weekend while watching cartoons and cheesy movies.
I want find someone who will knows on Sunday & Monday nights during football season that the Patriots are the only team & thing that matters.
I want to find someone who will take care of me when I get sick & completely revert back into a 5 year old. (Let’s be real, ALL men when they get sick, revert back into children)
I want to find someone who will encourage me to chase my dreams but make sure my dreams stay in reality.
I want to find someone who will enjoy & appreciate music as much as I do.
I want to find someone who will match or exceeds me intellectually. (Challenge me intellectually over my morning cereal & you’ll get the world)
I want to find someone who is somewhat comfort with them self but still has some insecurities. (A natural beauty that can walk around without makeup on while wearing yoga pants but still ask if you thinks she looks cute)
I want to find my other half, my soul male, my one true love.
Yes, I want all the sappy stuff above. What can I say? Deep down I’m a romantic. I’m the black Nathaniel Hawthorne, without the dope mustache. If you’ve ever talked to me, you know how deep…LOL
Now if you look at my track record, it doesn’t really looks like the one for a man looking for love but a man who could care less. The latter being true. I get bored easily, for which I blame ADHD & being only child. This post isn’t really going into detail about my love life because I have some CRAZY lady friends & I enjoy living. (I’ll save them for a later post)
Like I said above, ”my dream is to one day find love”. The key being “One Day”, as for now I am going use the “LIKE” system. Plus I’m in no rush to jump into relationships. For god sakes, I’m 22, unemployed, owner of a puppy & studying for the LSAT. Add a relationship I would literally explode. For those math fans, here’s a little equation.
22 year old – money – free time + puppy (never ending energy) + relationship = Explosion
Oh, plus I’m self-destructive in relationships. (Once again, I’ll save that story for later)
I’m a firm believer in natural order of the universe. I believe God has a plan for everyone and everything in the universe happens at it’s own pace and you can’t rush or cheat that timeline. I believe everyone is meant to find love. It may not happen today, tomorrow or next week but it will happen.
Apparently not everyone in this world shares my opinion. (Not surprising!!) For some odd reason society has put this weird timeline on love.
I feel sorry for women; they get the short end of the stick when it comes to the love timeline. Every magazine or blog I’ve ever read put women on the 30-year timeline. If you’re women, you HAVE to be married by 30, if not something is wrong with you. Like they literally try to convince a woman that if they’re not married by 30 something is actually wrong with them. Life? This can’t be it!
This idea of a fix timeline for everyone has caused people to try and rush the natural universal order and take love into their own hands. When you rush the order & try to force love, one and only one thing happens…It completely falls apart. Ask any divorce attorney or LifeTime movie victim. (Every life lesson can begin and end with a LifeTime movie)
It’s like trying to push a square box through a round hole. It just doesn’t work!
I know some people are saying but love grows with time. Love doesn’t grow; it’s not a planet. It builds upon a set foundation of love but it will not build of a set foundation of dislike.
Hypothetical: If I go a date and dislike a girl, I dislike like her. Plain & simple, but of by some random course of events I am tricked in to marrying that girl, I will still dislike her. Over the years nothing will change. I will just fake it till forever if need be or just get a divorce.
Forced love doesn’t grow you just eventually learn to live with that person. This is how loveless marriages work. They just deal with each other either for the kids or for the money. What kind of life is that, living with a person you can’t stand?
The best relationship you’ll ever have in your life is one where you just let love happen. You don’t worry about your age, what your friends say, you just let love happen. Fall in like a couple times but you wait for real love.
That’s incredibly hard and only a few can do it. I know I probably wont be able to do it and eventually fall LOVE with someone I should have fell in LIKE with, but if you can’t wait and must get married, let tell you a story.
I once heard a story of an elder couple that got married at age 86. Their families decided to put them in a nursing home because of their ailing health. The two met one night at a nursing home family night, and both were in ill health & in need of company. They both came from marriages that were loveless. They started going on little dates within the nursing home. First lunch dates, then walks around the grounds. Something amazing happened, the more time they spend together, the healthier they seemed to get. Those dates at the nursing home turned into dates at restaurants around town. They eventually married & moved to home closer to their kids. The couple was married for 10 happy years. They eventually both passed away but happier than they have ever been.
So I say wait for love, don’t force it. When it happens, it happens & it will be the greatest moment in your life. There will be people in your life that you think are the one but they are probably just placeholders for your real love. I’m not saying to keep you guard up & never love. God don’t do that but enjoy that moment, that’s what makes life worth living.
I’m just saying, let it happen naturally. Till then have fun, love & live life. Don’t be afraid to fall in “like”, eventually “love” will follow.
Side note: Also ladies if you’re in love/like it is okay to give good gifts. Like seriously good gifts are awesome. Every kiss maybe being with Kay but a relationship can end with a bad gift like a Starbucks gift card.